Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
