I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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