Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
