Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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