Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
