Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
