so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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