wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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