allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How drunk are you?
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