I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
