Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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