roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
