Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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