All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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