so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
