woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
