you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
