i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
