have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
