I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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