Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this will be a night to untag.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
