...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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