He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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