please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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