This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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