Only a mothe r could love this liver
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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