Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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