Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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