I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Vodka?
Forever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
