She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
