i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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