I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
