It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
