i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
