So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
