He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
