Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
God, you're like boner-b-gone
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
