Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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