your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
