So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
