so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
