4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
