just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
