Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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