hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
