Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
