My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
