As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
