if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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