I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
