i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just blew my weed a kiss
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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