dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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