btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
