There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
